Overcoming Difficult Childhood

Where: The Center for Relationship Training and Recovery

When: Wednesday evenings: 6 PM to 7:30 PM

Cost: $50 per session (most insurance plans accepted)

Commitment: 6 month minimum

Next step: Call for individual one hour assessment, (703) 492-8939

Group Leader: Mike Borash, LPC, NCC, CSAC, CIRT


The purpose of the group is to provide:

1. The environment necessary for growth in relationship to occur.

2. A learning laboratory with regard to the nature and nurture of relationships.

3. The opportunity for group members to discuss current life circumstances as well as family of origin issues.

4. Tools to help group members listen to others with interest, curiousity and understanding are practiced.

5. The experience of intimacy as a gradual process of trust building characterized by consistency, predictability and familiarity.

A difficult childhood experience was, is and will be a reality for many people. Undeniably there are many advantages to being born into a secure, stable and loving home environment. Parents, secure in their identity, committed to their relationship and ready to be parents would seem to present a fertile environment for a baby to grow physically, develop intellectually and mature emotion-ally. Consistent availability, warmth, attunement and mirroring are great relationship skills for parents to possess.

We know, however, that many of us grow up without ideal parenting. We survive. Children learn to survive less than ideal home situations. One parent families, depressed parents, drug addicted or alcoholic parents, bi-polar parents, unhappy parents, abusive parents, raging parents, preoccupied parents, frequently absent parents or suffering parents will all produce protective adaptations in their children. Some kids will become overachievers maybe even perfectionists.

Some will frequently get into trouble drawing an exceedingly large amount of negative attention. Some will Overcoming a Difficult Childhood shell, perhaps a bit like a turtle, trying to stay out of harm’s way. Some may be-come jokesters and little comedians trying to make everyone laugh or at least smile.Some may become parents to their parents sensing the pain of the parent and trying to help. Some may become tough, willing to fight and manipulate, insulating themselves from the emotional experience of others.Still others might become quite independent learning to soothe themselves and not rely or trust others.All adaptations are understandable in the context from which they arose. They were natural responses to childhood situations and an individual’s childhood reality. The problem(s) that tend to arise in adolescence and adulthood have more to do with what wasn’t learned in the child-hood home. Preparation for adult relationships begins in the family of origin.

Poor communication styles within safety, intimacy and transparency as well as being seen and understood. A failure or inability to discuss issues,problems, decisions and consequences don’t prepare a child for a partnership relationship. Collaboration, mirroring,validation, consensus building and empathy are important tools in building good relationship.